


CyberTARDIS

by nitamar



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Other, crack!fic, sort of, you are warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:31:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitamar/pseuds/nitamar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The old girl is slowly taken over by the Cybermen. The Doctor needs to bring back the life that's in the TARDIS. And nothing brings an explosion of raw emotion than...</p>
            </blockquote>





	CyberTARDIS

**Author's Note:**

> How high was I when I wrote this? I have no idea...

  
"Hey old girl. You alright? Everything fine?" Theta ran his hand over the console. "Old girl?" The time rotor was moving up and down, the machine was himming and swaying slightly in the votex. Everything seemed normal. Too normal. So nomal it made Theta panic. He flicked something and pulled a lever. "Come on old girl. Do something! Explosion! How about a mini earthquake? You like that!" But the rotor just made a phasing sound that indicated he pulled the wrong thing that was not good for the machine's smooth running. "What's wrong with you?" The Doctor threw his arms into the air. He knocked on a part hard with a hammer like he always did last interior. There's finally an explasion sound and the TARDIS shuddered. Then stopped. Everything back to normal again. The only difference was now a red light was bleeping indicating a slight mal-function.  


The Doctor operated the TARDIS to land at a deserted place. Any deserted place. But the landing just wouldn't process. "What now?" Theta shouted. "Just land somewhere so I can check on you, alright?" But the machine just continues to do nothing at all. The Doctor ran around the soncole and was on the screen, a warning - "Please input precise time and space coordination." "Since when?" Theta shouted in total exaperation. "How would I know where would be deserted and peaceful at which moment?"Theta pulled one button persistently for several times in frustration.

The TARDIS just kept showing the warning sign like any stubborn machine would.

"Fine!" The Doctor pulled the screen to where the typewriter was and tiped to search for a boring day. He was typing so furiously his typos made him only get to the right page after several gos.

The Doctor finally parked the TARDIS. He ran to the door and pulled. The door was jammed. "Are you angry with me for something?" Theta ran his lond finger down the door. He made to push the door outward slightly to pull again and found himself stumbling outward. "So you're teaching me how to open my own front door NOW!" The Doctor shouted. The TARDIS didn't give him the usual purr he'd get. Theta scratched his head. "Are you alright old girl?" He patted the TARDIS. "Let's find out, eh?"

It didn't take long for the Doctor to notice something was indeed wrong with his beloved. The Doctor looked up from where he was petting the TARDIS and saw the top part of the blueness was turning into a strange metallic colour. "Oh no. This is not good. Who did this to you?"

Theta walked around the TARDIS and ran his hand all over it. He got inside and carried out a ladder to further investigate the greyish colour. His brows were deeply furrowed when he spotted a long sharp end stuck out on the TARDIS that wasn't there before. The Doctor got out a pair of gloves and cautiously pulled the thing out. He looked around. They were in a deserted desert. "Hold on there." He murmered. He soniced the TARDIS where the needle was previously in. "Just hold on. I will think of something."

The greyness around the TARDIS didn't seem to change after much probing with the sonic screwdriver. Theta cautiously climbed down the ladder with one hand. The other clutching the needle tightly. "Feeling better?" His put his hand on the TARDIS door and let his fingers linger there. The vibration was still not the buzzing kind like she used to. "Now let's see what's this." The Doctor sat down in the desert, his back against the TARDIS. He needed the physical contact with his TARDIS all the time to make sure she's still there.

A loud shudder came from somewhere inside the TARDIS. "Wow wow what's that?" The Doctor nearlly dropped the needle and his sonic. He turned around and threw himself at her, his chest against one of her edges. "What is that?" He pressed one ear to the door. "Has something got into you?" Theta looked up at her ship, fear started to creep out of his eyes. No. This is absolutely not good. Quietly, the Doctor's hand reached for the handle, opened the door and slipped back inside.

The TARDIS shook with a regular shudder under his feet. They must be somewhere deep down. The Doctor pulled out a glass case from under the console and put the needle inside. He wanted to destroy it but as painful truth crashed onto him, he had no idea how to do it now that he had lost the psychic link with his ship, now just literally a machine that reponds to buttons and levers and typed-in orders.

"Just keep it safe in there, then." Theta tells her, stroking her surface. "You can still hear me. I know you can. Let's sort you out."

Sonic in hand ,the Doctor walks down the corrider that lead him down to the heart of the TARDIS.

He could hear highly unified footsteps some distance away. The Doctor stopped and listened. He'd say there's five of them. How did they get in? The TARDIS was alright before his brief rest in his study. How did they manage to start the upgrading process on the TARDIS when she's been in the vortex all the time for a long time? Only one way to find out.

Theta edged closer to the source of the footsteps. Excuse me, this is my home and I don't remember inviting any cyberman in.

He can see 6 of them. They had turned this corner of the TARDIS into a mini base. Anger started rising from THETA's chest. "Oi!" He stepped out of safety, all thoughts of caution abandoned. "You metal heads. Who let you in? What have you done to my TARDIS?" The cybermen that had been busy tending to their machine turned and looked at Theta. "Don't give me those blank looks. Answer me!"

"The TARDIS is ours now." One of them boomed. "It is now a time-and-space machine. Like it should be. It could only be flewn properly by 7 pilots. That's why there are 6 of us." "Oh who taught you maths? You PE teacher?" The laughed at his own joke. His laughter stopped half-way. "Oh...You counted me in? No. That's not a good idea/" Theta rambled on, looking sideways for a place to run. He was never able to find anything without the TARDIS shuffling the place to where he think it is. "You know why it's a bad idea? Because you can't upgrade me, you metal heads. DO you still have brains? You do, don't you? Your tissue and metal brain."

"Yes, we can." The ciber-leader replied his earlier question. He gestured and two of the cybermen started advancing on the Doctor.

"You know why I have always defeated you?" Theta said, pointing a finger at each of the advancing figures. "You move so slow. Always give me time to think of something." With that Theta slipped into a right-hand corridor.

The Doctor ran through the maze of corridors. Good job he's spent a large part of the last few hundred years alone. For some regenerations it had all been such a hurry he never fully explored tbe TARDIS properly, and sexy was doting.

He looked all directions as he ran, which was a tad difficult giving his current body was not the most coordinated.

He was afraid. Perhaps more afraid than he had ever been in his long life. And that says something. It was always more scary when something familiar goes wrong. The Doctor was constantly hearing sounds. But when he turned a corner there was always nothing there. He knew the structure of the TARDIS. With every step he could be running straight into the cybermen. ALl he could do is pray. He didn't know what's the point of him running anyway. But his legs kept moving, putting one feet in front of another. At least he couldn't overthink when he had to see where he was going.

His hearts clenched as he turned a corner, then, bang, dead end. "Open up!" He banged on the white wall, very much like a hospital ward. Yet the TARDIS more often than not don't open a wall for him when he shouts even when she.. when she was alive. The Doctor forced his mind not to go there.

He could hear metal thumping coming nearer and nearer. He's trapped. There was always a way out. The Doctor thought desperately. But being trapped in an enemy's trap was one thing. He had the thought of a nice cup of tea and the soothing hum of the TARDIS waiting for him. He had to go back. It kept him going. But to be trapped in your own TARDIS was something else. Theta felt the kind of despair he had never had before. THe days he had in his TARDIS. Perhaps it's appropriate he dies in it? They always say your life flashes in front of your eyes when you're going to die. And now Theta found himself involuntarily starting to remember the old days.

The first consle. Oh he could see that right in his mind's eyes. It's simple, compared to now. But it gave him such a huge headache to drive it properly. There's Susan that would panic and cling to him, shouting "GRANDFATHER" in her high pitched voice. There was Chesterton. Oh that boy always know what to do. That first time they encountered the Daleks. He'd be already dead if it weren't for him and Susan and the lady Babara. His first body was so old. so slow, so vulnerable by that time. "Oh grand father, Chesterton, Dalek, slow, grandfather, Chesterton, Dalek, slow..." He must be dozing off after all the running. He couldn't fanthom coherent thoughts anymore. Just those four words chanting, a whisper at first, but went on and on, louder and louder. It's currently like drums beating in his ears, in his head, in his 27 brains...

Grandfather, Chesterton, Dalek, Slow...

The wall he's leaning on gave way suddenly. The Doctor flails. Before he could grab anything the back of his head bangs onto the solid floor.

Theta could see the Cybermen marching closer, almost at the doorway. He curled his legs inside instinctively and the wall slid shut. There came banging on the other side, then suddenly nothing. The place he was in must have drifted away from that corridor.

Theta got up and examined the room he was in. White. More white. Big circular patterns on the wall. This looked familiar. His whole body stopped still as he turned 180 degrees from where he fell in.

He was now facing the middle of the room and can now see where he was.

Tne place he had just been to in his mind's eyes as he was almost losing hope.

The place it all started. The face he first fell in love with. However things had passed in his dreams he was always back here, wide-eyed and in awe.

The most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He was in the console room. The console room. The very first consolde room his very first body had ran off towards the universe.

"Oh you beautiful thing." he murmered. He stumbled forward and put his hands onto the controls he had not touched for a thousand years. It was spotless and shiny as he remembered.

The console vibrated slightly under his fingertips. He stroked it, the way he never stroked the men and ladies he somehow found himself naked with.

"You there?" he asked, Gallifreyan rolled on his tongue. He savoured every syllable, tasting them. The only soul left in the universe he could talk to without translation.

He could see a trace of golden light in his mind. Weak and dim, a slightest breeze could break it, blow it away, never come back.

This is the place the TARDIS preserves their past memories. This is the place part of her soul stays, forever, untouched.

"Remember when I used to be this stubborn old man eh old girl?" Theta's right hand slipped past his trousers and fumbled it's way into his pants. Theta didn't really noticed what he was doing. He never did. His left hand still on the consle, his fingers found that red square button he never really knew the function of. But he liked the feel of it. Cool and smooth. He rubbed his finger tip over it, feeling the edge of the gallifrey equivalent of plastic.

"Always get into trouble. Mind I'd go through all sorts of trouble to get into trouble. But never knew how to get back out of it. Did you laugh at me, back then? I bet you do. Did you know I'd always come back? Is that why even when I'm locked in Skaro, too weak to even move I never paniced> Damn." Theta's right hind slipped back out of his trousers only to undo the button and zip that was very much in the way. He got his hand back inside his pants as soon as it's done and ran his thumb over the tip of his cock, tightening his grip slightly. He hissed. His knees almost gave way and Theta plunged faced down onto the consle. He grabbed a lever blindly to steady himself. He'd forgotten how slippery the floor was. A slight turbulence always sent them all falt on their stomach. THe last thing he wanted now was cutting his chin open on the edge of the console.

Theta remained his position. He giggled at first, then laughed. His lips were literally on the console. He kissed all of the cold surface he could reach without moving his head too much. His right hand start to tug on his cock on its own accord. Theta moaned into the console, holding onto the lever in his hand for support. He could see the golden light in his eyes as warmth started building in his stomach. He wanted to scratch with hisof left hand and pull at every part of the console now vibrating so eagerly and invitingly but he couldn't. The tiny part of common sense in him was telling him don't let go of the lever! You'll fall! In the struggle of the mixed orders from his brain Theta's right hand squeezed hard on his own cock. He yelped and with a yank in such force he puled the should-be-upright lever right towards him.

"No!" Theta shouted. In his confusion he thought he had broken the lever. His TARDIS! The shock ran like electricity throught his body, ignited the warmth in his stomach. In the clumsiness and awkwardness and surprise so in character of his current regeneration Theta felt his lower half exploded. In a split second Theta thought he was literally exploding. Both his bands abandoned their previous tasks and he swung himself onto the console, swept past a handful of levers and landed on a dozen buttons, pressing them at the same time.

There came a long bang from somewhere in the room and the TARDIS suddenly started shaking violently. Theta thought he heard groaning and what sound like electricity things exploding and metal things colliding with each other as well as the floor. He was being thrown into all directions. He clings onto the console for dear life, not knowing if any of those were actually happening or was it just his illusions as he plunged into hell.

The Doctor came into conscious lying on something hard but warm. There were little fireworks exploding somewhere between his eyes and his eyelids but under a background of golden colour. He was aware that there were something sticky both in his pants and on his hand. He could hear the gentle whirring thta meant he was safe in the votex. The subconscious mind in him thought everythign was fine. Go back to sleep and rest some more. Then everything came back to him. He snapped open his eyes and jumped to his feet.

Sexy had piled the Cybermen bodies just in front of the front door. Her way of saying "Get these things out!" Oh e glance at the pinkish containter told him she was cleaning herself franticly.

The door to the bathroom appeared just below the stairs. "How did we do it?" Theta asked out loud. He reached for the TARDIS screen. An electric bean shot from the console and hit Theta on the shoulder. "Ow!" Theta shouted. "There's no need for that!" An alarm started beeping outside the bathroom. "Alright alright I'm going." he said. He blushed furiously. "Don't remind me of that again. Deal?" The TARDIS ignored him and continued with her self-cleaning.

  
As Theta cleaned himself up as well he heard the TARDIS get ready to land. Cybermen drop off time, then. Same old.  



End file.
